TED / What makes a good life? 만족스러운 인생을 사는 방법은?

12월 섀도잉 영상 Pick-

What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger

 

 

 

 

12월 새도잉을 진행했던 영상, 좋다. 그 내용에 대한 스크립트를 정리해보았다.

만족스러운 인생을 사는 방법에 대한 이야기다.

그 포인트로 강연자는 '관계'에 대해 이야기한다.

80대가 되어서, 끈끈한 관계를 가진 사람들의 인생에 대한 만족도가 그렇지 못한 사람보다 훨씬 높다는 것.

 

많은 젊은이들은 부와 지위, 명성 등이 좋은 삶을 가꾸는데 필수적인 것이라고 생각했지만,

시간이 지나고보니, 가족 내에서, 친구들 사이에서 그리고 공동체 내에서의 관계가 내 삶의 만족도를 높여주는 요인이었다고 그는 말한다.

 

 

https://youtu.be/8KkKuTCFvzI

 

(9:02)

 And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people’s memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can’t count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

 

 And those good relationships, they don’t have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn’t take a toll on their memories. So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that’s as old as the hills.

 

 Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we’re human. What we’d really like is a quick fix, something we can get that’ll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they’re complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

 

 Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fated the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.

 

 So what about you? Let’s say you’re 25, or you’re 40, or you’re 60. What might leaning in to relationship even look like? Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven’t spoken to in years, because those all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.

 

 I’d like to close with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: “There isn’t time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.” The good life is built with good relationships. Thank you.